Saturday, April 03, 2004

More April 3
I’m home, and I feel like I’m coming down with a cold. Just what I need, with a show tomorrow and a research trip on Monday. At least I have the evening off, and I can take care of myself.

My good mood was somewhat punctured when I checked one of the writing boards I frequent. There was anger and discussion over another writing board many of us used to frequent about the nasty, vicious and often vindictive people there who seem to have taken over.

What I don’t understand is why these people still visit the board? Why walk into a room when you know someone is going to beat you in the head with a hammer? That’s perpetuating the abuse. And then to come crying back to the other board about how mean they are – hello, how often have you been advised not to go back? If someone threatens you, keep a log and take it to the proper authorities. Don’t go back for more. I know that some of the folks who dash back and forth between boards reporting the latest enjoy the Dramar. What a waste of time.

Can you imagine how much good work would be done if they’d pour the energy into their writing instead of into their bitching?

Just don’t go back.

I wrote a rebuke on the train stating my position of no longer discussing this other forum. It was diplomatic – unlike what I’ve written here – and to the point: if it makes you miserable, don’t do it. If you choose to do it, that’s your choice. I’m not buying into it anymore and will no longer participate in those discussions.

There are those who will argue that’s letting Them win. Win what? By engaging and enabling, they win by getting attention. It’s not working to ignore them, and the moderator can’t ban them as fast as they come back under a new name. So why bother? If you have the chance to remove yourself from an unhealthy situation, you should do so. If you continue to remain in it, it’s your problem, not mine. I’m taking the steps I need to protect myself and my work.

I want to remove my information from the first board, but can’t figure out how to do so. Perhaps I have to e-mail the moderator. If too much time and energy is spent on this second board discussing the first board, I’ll take a break from the second board, too. I haven’t posted my piece on the second forum because I can’t figure out how to delete myself from the first forum.

I really need to take a computer class.

My time any my energy need to go into my work. Look how much energy I’ve wasted on it even now. Take your own medicine, lady, and shut the heck up!

The matinee was fun, although I was out of rhythm, switching tracks. I kept wanting to do the same cues I did last night. But everything got done. Nobody went out there naked, and everyone was in the right clothes. “It’s all good,” as an actor I once worked with always said.

I’ll miss the companionship, but I won’t miss fighting my way through people stopping suddenly in the middle of the sidewalk for no reason. Or stepping through a doorway and stopping short. It’s a doorWAY and a sideWALK, not a sideSTAND. I’m glad people enjoy New York City, but have a little awareness that other people exist around you! I’m tired of feeling confined and like there’s no room. People take up too much space without any consideration for invading anyone else’s. And get off your cell phones already! Your life is not that interesting!

An avid eavesdropper in public places (I call it research for dialogue), I often think it’ll be fun to listen in on a conversation with strangers. I’m always disappointed and often appalled at how boring they are.

Thank goodness there’s fiction and drama to make conversation interesting. Conversation truly has become a Lost Art. That’s why, when you are able to have a true conversation with someone – not a rant or catching up on details – it’s like having a good meal. You’re feeding your soul. You’re nourishing your spirit.

I wonder if the majority of humanity is turning into mind-numbed idiots or if it seems worse around here because it’s a major city?

Most of the time I am fond of “humanity.” I’m even fonder of individuals. It’s people in general with whom I get impatient. The mass mind, moo-cow, sheep-herded mentality.

There’s a monologue in there somewhere. I think I might need to put together another evening of monologues. Women With an Edge stands the test of time – and I certainly have more to say.

Edge was great because it was a series of rants crafted into monologues that developed into an evening of theatre. Those who read it/experience it feel it hits close to the bone, close to home. It makes the personal universal and the universal personal, which is what it should do. There are plenty of topics with which to continue.

Edge was written in two days during a snowstorm. I think the new monologues will develop over a period of time. I have to go with the energy. Every project has a specific energy. When the project energy is nourished, it will flow. If you try to force it into something inorganic because you think that’s the way it “should” be or to make it more “marketable”, it won’t work. You might as well stomp the crocuses as they come out in spring.

Came home, had a nice dinner with a friend and a glass of wine. I’m feeling under the weather. I took care of some writing business – or perhaps it’s simply busy-ness. I’m going to attempt a bit of creative work, and then to bed early.

Daylight Savings Time starts tonight, so one hour less. Oh, well.

I need to search for the Captain Kidd book and work on some reviews. That I can do lying in bed.

I have a stack of scraps of paper with article ideas on them. I need to sort them out and figure what’s actually viable and what’s not. Right now, my focus needs to be on the three serials (more episodes due Tuesday) and on the two feature articles, which need to also be done by Tuesday.

I need to find the research notes about the first teapot that washed ashore from a shipwreck near Montauk, and no one knew what it was. That’s a funny tidbit, and I want to include it if it checks out. Hopefully, I’ll have a chance to stop by the library again and look at some Keepers’ Logs.

Time to shut off the computer and climb into bed. Echinacea, hot tea, and maybe some aspirin. A good night’s sleep, and I’ll be ready to rock and roll in the morning.

Dumb turn of phrase. Who rocks and rolls in the morning unless they’re still at it from the night before?


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