Monday, June 28, 2004
Started sunny and beautiful; turned cloudy and muggy
Absolutely exhausted. But the chores need to be done, and things have to get accomplished. I stumbled to Staples, and was annoyed that they didn’t have everything I wanted. The clerk was very nice and went rooting around in the back, but they just didn’t have what I want. I’ll have to look elsewhere. But I did get folders and disks and disk holders, and spent far too much time reorganizing my disks. I have far too much of which I need to keep track. When I move into the house and set up my office, I will hire a temp to help me set up a good system for the first month or two. As it was, I spent far too much time in organizing my desk this morning, but at least now I can find the desk.
Also hit the Victoria’s Secret sale. Found what I wanted. The very young salesclerk tried to sell me their equivalent of a Wonderbra. When I refused, she said, “You know, you really oughta think about it, ‘cuz when you hit thirty, everything starts headin’ South.”
“I’m forty-two,” I said.
“Get OUT. No WAY!”
“I’ll show you my driver’s license if you like.”
“My mom’s not even forty and she don’t look as good as you. How many times a week you go for Botox?”
“I don’t use Botox. I think Botox is disgusting and people who voluntarily inject botulism into themselves are idiots.”
“That’s all real?”
In other words, it was an interesting morning.
New press release has hit:
It’s rather amusing.
I had to contact the NHL, because there’s something in the draft entry data that doesn’t make sense to me. I’m probably misreading it, and hopefully, they can straighten me out (since it’s the data from their site).
Llewellyn hired me to write for the 2006 calendar. I’ll be Miss November, and that article’s due Aug. 1. Quite a few things are due Aug. 1.
I started the BTP play today. Unfortunately, because I didn’t go with the full flush of momentum with it, it’s much more difficult that it should be. I got about one quarter of the way through the first scene (which, actually, the first act is one scene, and the second act will be two scenes). There’s a lot of good stuff in there, but it needs ever so much more research for details, and I’m so exhausted that I don’t have the stamina to do the extended hours of writing that I need/want to on the draft.
This is why I can’t be on someone else’s schedule. I need to be unscheduled, to work with the ebb and flow of my own creativity and biorhythms. It still means facing the page every day, but if I want to write from 2 AM – 2 PM instead of being forced to write from 6 AM – 10 AM because I have to catch a 10:19, that’s what I need to be able to do.
Five weeks. I just have to hold it together for five weeks and then, hopefully, I can go back to my own fluid schedule.
It’s frustrating on so many levels. The exhaustion is really what’s holding me back. It’s not that I don’t care about the show, because I do. It’s not that I don’t care about doing good work, because I do. But there is no way that I can give what I usually give to 8 shows a week and give the writing what it needs. Something has to give, and it has to be the show. Since I gave my word I would do the next month full time, I have to do good work while not putting an emotional investment into it. That’s next to impossible for me. Yet, if I’m going to hold energy in reserve for my writing, that’s what I need to do.
Cooked wild salmon for dinner (with shallots, rosemary, oregano, and garlic) along with mashed potatoes and fresh spinach. What a difference in the taste between wild salmon and farmed salmon. The taste of the wild salmon is sharper. And a good sauvignon blanc brought it out even more. Farmed salmon tastes bland in comparison.
The plan is to rest up a bit (after the dishes), then tackle a few more episodes of The Widow’s Chamber and maybe go back to BTP. I asked for an extension on the deadline for the Halloween story. I’m sure my editor will be shocked, because I hardly ever ask for an extension. If anything, I’m early.
If I wasn’t so damned exhausted all the time, I could get more done. But having to leave the house most days by 10 AM and getting home at 1 AM – those nine hours at home just aren’t enough to get it all done.