Monday, June 14, 2004

Sunday, June 13, 2004
Waning Moon
Pluto Retrograde
Chiron Retrograde
Venus Retrograde
Neptune Retrograde
Uranus Retrograde

Yesterday was such a gorgeous day! Beautiful and sunny, a perfect temperature. I enjoyed the walk from Grand Central Station to the theatre so much! Everyone seemed to be in a good mood – which, when you’re wandering around in a city as crowded as Manhattan, is a good thing.

Unfortunately, I hadn’t managed to catch the beginnings of a migraine, and by the time I got to the theatre, it was full-blown. One of the other swings studies acupuncture, and she did some pressure point, cranial, and polarity work on me. It helped a lot, but it still hovered in the background all day.

The matinee was fine; I felt much more comfortable in the show.

I planned to have dinner with a friend to catch up on things. However, all this person wanted to do was bitch and moan about what’s wrong in her life. We’ve had the same conversation every time we talk for the past five years. But she won’t take one bit of action to change anything in her life. There’s always an excuse and nothing is ever her fault. I finally said, “Look, it’s a beautiful day and I don’t feel like dealing with your moaning. If there’s a specific problem and you want to brainstorm possible solutions, fine. But I’m not going to spend my dinner break listening to the same complaints I’ve listened to for five years. If you don’t like your life, change it.” She went off in a huff.

I had a fairly pleasant dinner at one of my favorite Vietnamese restaurants on 9th Ave. Unfortunately, a couple was there with two small children who did nothing but scream and fuss. That annoys me no end. There’s got to be some sort of compromise where restaurants can have family-friendly rooms – complete with child size chairs and portions – and other diners who want a quiet meal can also have their space.

My carry-along notebook was almost full and I went in search of another. It shouldn’t be that hard to find a notebook in NYC, but I couldn’t find one I wanted and then I was out of time to write anyway. Annoying.

I ran into an acquaintance on the street who’s working on THE BOY FROM OZ and is very happy there. Everything I’ve heard about working on that show is good.

At least I did an hour of writing before leaving for the show, so I don’t feel as though I lost the entire day.

And several friends from writer’s group pitched in and searched out resources for me on the history of chloroform. I ought to be able to revise those episodes and send them off tomorrow – with the correct information!

I talked to a friend about how frustrated I am on the show because every time I go in, so much has changed that I feel like I’m learning it all over again from scratch. I can’t get settled into it, the way I can with other shows. He pointed out that, because I’m in career transition, I’m overcompensating when I’m in the theatre, and putting much more pressure on myself than necessary. I’d never thought of that. He’s probably right – he usually is when it comes to my inner workings – whether it’s my work or myself.

Had some good “heart and soul” talk with another friend who works on the show – the importance of the inner work we do as people, and the necessity to push our comfort zones and keep expanding. Treat yourself with respect, and also treat those around you with respect. It causes a ripple effect that only makes things better.

As much as I love my work in the theatre – and I really do love it, hence the overcompensation – it is not my life anymore. My life is growing and changing. The demands my soul makes right now are very different than they were even three years ago. I’m at a point in my life where I don’t want to pour my energy into other people’s projects. I want to work on my own. I’ve spent years working on other people’s projects. I’ve learned a lot, but now I need to apply what I’ve learned. I sometimes wonder where my career would be if I’d been less enthusiastic about other people’s projects earlier in my career and demanded equal time for my own. But the past is the foundation for the present and future. There’s no time or energy for regrets, and much of what I’ve experienced I wouldn’t trade for anything. But it’s time to move forward.

The evening show was chaos. Lots of actors out, and reshuffling with swings. One of the members of the women’s ensemble had a zipper get stuck during the quick change. She had to be torn out of the skirt in the quick change. Later, she was sewn back into it for another scene, then cut out of it for the following change. On top of that, one of the leads became very ill during the show – to the point of not being able to make an entrance on time – and her standby had to go on during intermission. Her dresser had to take care of her, so I picked up cues she usually did because no one was there. We all made it work, but boy, where we tired by the end of the night.

Very glad to get home and crawl into bed around one thirty in the morning.

And, of course, up early today. I’m glad I baked the cake yesterday. I was too tired this morning.

My short story “Tears & Coffee”, under the Christy Miller pseudonym, is up on The Rose and Thorn for their summer issue:

It looks good. I’m pleased with it, and working with them was a very positive experience. They definitely deserved to be on the list of Writer’s Digest best sites.

The Rye Sound Shore Review published one of the horse racing articles. So that’s another clip.

I need to update my CV tomorrow and get some publicity info out to Luna Jensen for the next promotion.

As it is, I’m running late. Have to put on some lipstick, sprinkle powdered sugar on the cake and take off. Two shows today and then I can get some sleep.

After all, there’s a horse racing article to be written, and research to be done on the hockey pick and episodes for all three serials and . . .



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