Sunday, March 20, 2005
Rainy and cold
May the renewal of the Earth symbolize our own renewal and our own commitment to the Earth, peace, and each other.
I had a rocky show last night. The regular dresser has changed, and the new person’s notes don’t make sense to me. It was nothing major, but there were a few glitches that probably wouldn’t have happened if I’d been able to comprehend the notes.
I get to redeem myself today, because the show called this morning and needs me to cover both shows today.
It means a lost day of writing, including the first chapter of the Quick Sell project, but I need immediate cash – beginning of the month bills are coming – so that’s the tradeoff. Especially with the bank sitting on my payment for the script for eight weeks.
I’m going to try to do a couple of pages on Book II of Ransagh before I go. I’ve set a saner schedule for myself with books II & III than I had for I. If I can stick to it, I estimate the first draft of Book II will be done by June 25 and Book III by Oct. 3. Of course, now that I’ve put that out there, the Universe will do its best to throw obstacles in my way.
I outlined the Annie/Vince piece last night on the train. I expanded a section that I originally saw as tighter. The more I look at it, the more I think it should be tighter, and I want to go back to my original idea for it. It definitely doesn’t fall into the Quick Sell category, which annoys me, because the last thing I need right now is yet another major project.
I’m thinking about taking a break from several forums while Mercury is in retrograde. Some of the comments posted the last few days are more irritating to me than is logical – especially in cases where they have nothing to do with me. There seems to be a lot of cross chatter and certain people don’t seem to read and respond to what’s actually there. There’s a knee-jerk reaction to a word or a phrase instead of context. I find myself biting back short-tempered and irritable comments, both because that style of response is inappropriate, and, ultimately, some of it has nothing to do with me. I think breathing room on my part is called for, to get some perspective and remember why I enjoy and respect these people so much in the first place.
Exterior pressures in my life are starting to affect my responses to people who don’t deserve to be vented at because of other issues pressing down on me. So my best bet is to simply step back and be quiet for awhile. The risk is that I will feel more isolated than I already feel right now, but that’s preferable to lashing out at someone who doesn’t deserve it. My coping skills just aren’t up to par right now.
Eventually, it will all work itself out in the work, but right now I have to figure out how to keep the work going while still working out these other aspects of my life that are demanding attention right now. Something’s got to give, and I plan to protect the writing as much as I can.
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