Thursday, March 17, 2005
Cloudy and cold
Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
I think the Fire Commissioner’s edict that the firefighters can’t wear the traditional green berets in the Parade is ridiculous. These guys put their lives on the line every day – allow them a tradition that matters so much to them. They are not disrespecting the uniform by it. How about focusing the energy on getting them fair contracts?
I had problems with the DSL line already. Three days and it’s already down. I explained to them that if it wasn’t fixed today, I’d have to cancel service. I need reliability. That is my number one priority with internet service. More and more of my livelihood depends on internet capability. And I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect the service for which I pay.
I’m not the only one with ISP problems – my editor is also suffering. So, I keep working on my serial issues, and once she gives the go-ahead, the poor woman will have quite a stack.
I think I’ve solved the problem of the formatting going askew by using the e-mail program via Outlook Express rather than through the Verizon web-based mail. So far, that seems to work.
I am just wrung out. I can’t simply shrug and go, “oh, the internet is down; guess I just have to wait until somebody gets around to fixing it.” It has to work. All the time.
The DSL seems to work this morning, but for how long? Did we just get off to a rough start, or is this a portent for what’s to come?
And why do I have to waste so much time on this stuff that I pay a monthly fee for other people to take care of and now have no time or energy left for my work?
I’ve literally made myself sick from the stress, between the computer problems and the rest of what’s going on in my life. I’m on the second day of a migraine with no relief in sight, and my neck and shoulders are just knots on top of knots. Yoga doesn’t work; meditation doesn’t work; medication doesn’t work; hot baths don’t work. I am at the end of my rope.
Despair is a destructive emotion because you either end up imploding or exploding and neither one solves the actual problems. It’s like being sucked into a vortex. But how to get out?
I managed to polish a few more episodes of Charlotte yesterday and hopefully, will get some more done today. As soon as I get the okay, I can send episodes. I have to do more work on Widow’s Chamber and Tapestry.
I played with some characters who talked to me over the past few days. I was in too much pain from the migraine to get more than a couple of pages done, and I’m not exactly sure what it is.
Worked a bit on the backup materials for Non-fiction Proposal A. I thought I had more than I do – so I guess I’ve got more research before I can send it off. The proposal itself reads well. I’m debating whether or not to include a projected budget. I’ll have to research some other non-fiction proposals and see.
Haven’t been able to focus enough to work on the articles. I’m in too much pain, both physical and other. I hope that focusing on the work will pull me through the other stuff, although if the migraine doesn’t subside, I won’t be good for much of anything today.
I’d go back to bed for a few hours to see if I could sleep it off – but, of course, the damn renovators are hammering away.
With any luck, I won’t get called in to the theatre today. I hate going in to the city on St. Patrick’s Day – coming back home late at night on a train full of people so drunk they’re either screaming, falling, or vomiting all over the other passengers is not my idea of a good time. The singing is pretty funny, but the rest of it I can skip.
Let’s hope this day improves.
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