Monday, June 20, 2005

June 20 Part II

Fighting a bad case of the blues. Most of it stems from physical pain and from exhaustion, but knowing the logic of it isn’t helping the emotional effects.

Having a fight with my SO didn’t help, either. We rarely fight, although we sometimes disagree. This was a fight.

Got the notes back to my mentees, sent out some requested pitches by return e-mail to one of my editors, and found a new mag to which I’ll try to sell some travel pieces.

Read The Frog Prince by Jane Porter, thinking it would cheer me up, but it didn’t. There’s nothing wrong with the book – it’s quite well done. But it wasn’t what I needed right now.

I re-read both What Mrs. McGillicuddy Saw! and Death on the Nile this weekend. There’s something comforting about Agatha Christie’s world when one is under extreme stress.

Can’t concentrate on the serials, and I have to, because another long theatre week starts tomorrow and it’s highly unlikely that I’ll get much done. But I’m unfocused and uninspired.

What will make me feel better is to write, but I can’t corral the thoughts in my brain long enough to get anything coherent down. Pain is both distracting and exhausting.

I need to get out a mailing and do some more press work, and I just don’t know when that can happen, along with trying to pull out enough creative work to keep on schedule with the serials. And Elusive Prayers HAS to get done. It shouldn’t be this hard. None of this is brain surgery. I simply feel wrung out. I thought I’d paced myself well theatre-wise, but it still took more out of me than I wanted.

Leaving home at 10 AM and coming back at 1 AM the next day doesn’t leave a lot of time for creative work. And yet, somehow, I still have to find the energy and the discipline to get it all done, because the words won’t write themselves. And the transition won’t happen if I lag on the creative work.

D.

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