Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Waning Moon
Neptune Retrograde
Uranus Retrograde
Mars Retrograde
Sunny and beautiful

The Good News: Café Du Monde reopened in New Orleans today (one of my favorite places). Soon, I’ll be able to start ordering coffee from them again.

The Bad News: Hurricane Wilma is now Category 5 and headed for Florida.

Today’s poem is up on Circadian Poems. One of the exciting things, to me, about Circadian is that I’m getting submissions from all over the world. I love that. Poets from far-flung countries including the Philippines and Pakistan are sharing their work and their points of view.

My first contribution to The Scruffy Dog Review Blog is up. Wednesday is my regular day. It was fun to write. I ended up having to split it into this week’s and next week’s entry because it got a little . . .long. I had more to say than I thought! Funny how that happens.

Yesterday was tough. My mom got bad news from the orthopedist. She may never get the use of her arm back. Since she’s right-handed and it’s her right arm, this is a problem. It’s very upsetting for her. I suspect they’re writing her off because of her age, and I am not willing to accept that. She will start PT shortly, and I am taking her with me to my acupuncturist – we’ll do double sessions for the next few months. When I had a dislocated shoulder, acupuncture was the only thing that helped, especially as far as pain management.

I desperately need to go for acupuncture, because now my pain has gotten out of control – still from the shoulder injury five years ago, and also severe neck and shoulder pain from the current work.

Chronic pain is exhausting because it interferes with your thought process and drains your life force. Your tolerance builds up to a certain point and it becomes a dull roar. And then the pain increases and you start all over again. I’m hoping a good long yoga session later today will help.

It also means a slew of medical bills coming my way – and the work booked for November has been cancelled. So now I have to scramble for work. That’s the part that sucks about freelancing – I can never count on money coming in regularly. I know how much I have to earn each month – and, trust me, because of where I live, I need to earn in a WEEK what most families of four live on for a MONTH in other areas of the country. But I can’t COUNT on anything.

I can’t hustle work right now, either, because in my line of work, when something opens, you have to take it NOW – not in two weeks, but NOW. And I can’t start anything for two weeks.

Something will come up. It always does. I’ll put out some calls. And one of the guys on the crew with me on the pilot works a lot on the various series that shoot in NY and he said he’d recommend me for everything because he thinks I’m awesome, so I can probably pick up a good bit of additional work over the next few months. And, in our union, people help each other. They recommend each other. They want everyone to work.

It’s still stressful.

Day work was fine. Caught up with people, got some info I was looking for that had nothing to do with the show. Was so tired I could barely think, so it was good to get home and just collapse.

Misunderstood a gesture from a colleague – she meant it as a thank-you for work done, and I received it as a demand for additional work that I don’t have the time or resources to take on. Fortunately, we could actually talk and straighten it all out.

Spent some time on the NaNoWriMo boards. Most of the people are great. Some are not. But, if you’ve got several thousand people in a “room”, that’s bound to happen.

I’ve got some business to handle – sending in my rebate for my new phone, printing off articles for some editors, etc.

And then, hopefully, I can sit down and write.

Tomorrow will be a very, very, very long day – I’m doing my day work four hours early so I can go to set in the afternoon and shoot well into the night. So I’m going to be really confused by Friday.

It’s also becoming more and more apparent to me that my SO is right, and I need to think about moving from the US. The country is moving back towards a brand of intolerant fundamentalism that we haven’t seen since the Puritans in the 1600s. Health care sucks. And the discrimination against independent thought grows every day – no matter what protections are promised by the Constitution. I wouldn’t be an ex-patriot, either. I’d be an exile. Not something I want to be, but I’m hitting a point where there’s not much choice.

I really wish someone would reanimate the Founding Fathers – and Mothers -- so they could step in and kick some ass.

The Thirteen Traveling Journals Project
Circadian Poems
The Scruffy Dog Review


At 11:26 AM, Blogger Eileen said...

You're a wonderful gift to your mother Devon, to be there and advocate for her. The "medical profession" may want to write her off, but you're not willing to. I feel as though I have some insight into how upset she is. She's blessed to have you as a presence in her life. I'm grateful every day for my daughter, son and daughter-in-law who invest their time and finance into my recovery.

I think it's completely wonderful that you're going to do double sessions with an accupuncturist. Not only will your mother receive the treatments, which I know will help her - it's a way of sharing time with her, and being in touch with her treatment.

It is good news as well that she is going to start physical therapy.

I'm gratified to know that YOU will be having accupuncture for your shoulder and neck pain. I remember that you shared with me that the road to recovery is long, and is evidenced further by the fact that you're dealing with severe neck and shoulder and neck pain five years after your injury.

I believe that the path that you have walked and are walking, with determination and dignity is an inspiration to your mother and others as well, including myself.

Through the fog of your own pain you are working, you are creating and you are giving to others.

I'm happy to hear that your Cafe Du Monde reopened. That's wonderful news for you! My fresh ground coffee each morning is a gift.

I've been following Hurricane Wilma. So many hurricanes in such a short period of time and Saurman, perched in his usurped throne in the White House is ineffectual and ill equiped to deal with any of it, and it continues, and he won't assist the world in dealing with the root causes of our weather changes.

Congratulations on Circadian poems and the participation of people throughout the world. It's is yet another gift of your love to the world.

At 2:33 PM, Blogger Debra Young said...

Sorry to hear about your mother, Devon. Think you're right about the dr's ignoring the problem because of her age; with acupuncture, I'll bet she recovers more use of her arm than expected.

Oh--and I've been thinking of living elsewhere (out of this country) for a while now, but...don't know yet what to do.

At 3:15 PM, Blogger Lara said...

You ARE awesome. I hope November gets filled up for you!
I'm sorry to hear that about your mom. I hope things get better for her, and for you with your pain. It's debilitating trying to work when you have pain nagging at you like that. Feel better soon!

At 4:09 PM, Blogger David Bridger said...

Hi Devon, followed your link here from the nano forum.

I'm sorry about your Mom, and hope the acupuncture works wonders for both of you. I know about chronic pain sucking creative energy away.

I understand how you feel about moving country. Sometimes it all just gets so bad and stupid, doesn't it? For a while now, my wife and I have been talking about leaving the UK. It's only the fact that our kids and their partners can't move that holds us here. Funnily enough, we always dream about settling in California. Our American friends are so warm.

Anyway, nice meeting you. See you around the nano forum I expect.

At 1:13 PM, Blogger Ann said...

Hey, sorry about your mom and your pain - hope you feel better soon.
I get so frustrated with where our country is right now - but I think certain fundamentalists have maybe pushed things too far, so hopefully it will move back to the middle soon.
Your work is excellent - hang in.

At 9:15 AM, Blogger Green-Eyed Lady(GEL) said...

Sure hope your mom and you will feel better! I, too, live with chronic. pain. I ought to look into acupuncture. I finally broke down about 10 yrs ago and saw a chiropractor a good friend recommended. WONDERDFUL!


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