Saturday, November 12, 2005

Nov. 12 Part II

Depressed, crabby, and out of sorts.

Part of it is separation anxiety from the serials. I hadn’t realized how tied in I became over the past two years, writing those 8000 words a week. I’m planning their futures, and planning how to satisfy the subscribers left hanging, but it’s still difficult not to be in that comfort zone of the stress of writing eight episodes a week. Even though, towards the end, the negatives outweighed the positives.

I want to push forward on Fix-It Girl, but I’m afraid if I push too hard too fast, I’ll write myself out and not want to finish it. And finishing is important -- not just hitting the 50K mark for NaNo, but finishing.

That’s my 2006 mantra: “Finish”.

I tried to organize the chaos reproducing moment by moment on my desk, and I ran out of file folders. Again.

I need office space. I need to be able to spread everything out and have the different projects in process out where I can get at them. If it’s put away, it doesn’t get worked on. So, putting everything inside a box or a drawer at the end of the day in order to have a pretty desk doesn’t work for me.

Yet another reason I was no good in a corporate environment.

I have four loads of laundry churning away downstairs. I could have easily done a couple more, but there are only four machines, and I’m sick of hauling the laundry up and down three flights of stairs. I look forward to the laundry room in my house, which will be set up much like a work station backstage – folding tables, ironing board out, steamer, drying racks, hanging bars – everything so I can prep the clothes for my life and then take them up to the closet and not worry about them.

I’m frustrated and confused about questions regarding the domain transfer. If they’re not answered today, I’ll be double charged for something, but I can’t take the appropriate action without my questions being answered and I’ve been asking them for days with no response.

The last thing I feel like doing is going to out socialize today, but since I was so insistent on today’s location, I have to be there, and I’m going to be pleasant and friendly, dammit, no matter what.



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