Monday, December 19, 2005

Monday, December 19, 2005
Waning Moon
Saturn Retrograde
Cloudy and cold

Exhausted.

The matinee was okay yesterday – I realized on the train that I forgot to retrieve her mic and leave it for sound. I’ll go in early today and apologize.

Looks like the transit strike is going to happen, so I’ll be in the city most of the rest of the week. Have to pack and plan.

Someone at the show, who claims to be a “friend” was absolutely vicious to me when I confided the Situation yesterday. I didn’t want to tell this person, but I knew she would hear about it on the grapevine, misunderstand and ask questions that would just set me off. I’ve had to confide in some people at the show because it’s going to affect my future at the show. Anyway, her response was such an attack I was so stunned I couldn’t even respond in the moment. I was very upset for the entire show and spent the train ride home in tears.

Nothing like kicking someone when they’re down.

I have to see her and deal with her on Tuesday; when she brings it up, I’m going to tell her I’m not discussing it with her because her comments were hurtful. If someone had said something like that to her, she would take to her bed for a week; she does NOT have the right to say anything that comes in to her head when we all have to walk on eggshells around her.

That’s the way it is in a crisis – you find out who your friends are.

I need to find a way to let it go – but I’m just exhausted with the crazy show schedule, trying to handle everything and my mother’s worsening condition. I don’t want the wound to fester and get infected, but I’m not sure how to heal it.

I have to sort out my entire week this morning, since I have to leave in the afternoon. I have to pack in an entire week’s worth of errands and cards and catch-up into four or five hours, and pack, get into the city and do the damn show again.

I’m taking Shallid and the Epic with me to work on this week. The first drafts of both of those are in longhand, so I can carry them around.

Because I’m not losing the writing for a whole week, no matter what.

Yuletide poems are up on Circadian today. This is the last post there until after the first of the year.

I didn’t watch Bush’s address last night. I didn’t think it would be ridiculous enough to make me laugh; I figured it would just add insult to injury. He’s spent his administration making lousy decisions that protect his rich friends and their interests and cost the regular people who actually do the work to keep this country running their lives.

As far as the transit strike goes, I’d believe Kalikow’s claims that his final offer is a “fair deal” more if he wasn’t so intent on giving himself and his execs over $40,000 per year salary increases along with similar amounts called a “housing allowance.” The rest of us have to pay our rent out of our salaries – why shouldn’t these guys?

The cost of living in NY went up 9% last year. The salary increases don’t keep pace with the cost of living. And the salaries aren’t going up enough to justify the huge cost of living increases. It’s greed, greed, greed on the part of the guys running things.

I’m tired of greed. Isn’t this supposed to be the season of peace, joy and good will? So why is it worse this year than ever?

Devon
The Thirteen Traveling Journals Project
Circadian Poems

The Scruffy Dog Review

7 Comments:

At 8:57 AM, Blogger B. K. Birch said...

I'm so sorry your friend wasn't there for you when you needed them. I hope you can solve "The Situation" and if you need someone to talk to, let me know and I'll call you.

Take care.

 
At 11:44 AM, Blogger Debra Young said...

I'm sorry that your friend did that to you. I've had that happen to me with someone whom I considered a dear friend and it hurt! I too hope "The Situation" comes to a good resolution for you. And you know I'm here to listen...d:

 
At 12:05 PM, Blogger Ann said...

That response to your "friend" seems more polite than she deserves.
I'm thinking of you with all this going on, and wishing you the best, both with your "situation" and your mother's health.

 
At 6:21 PM, Blogger Lara said...

What a rotten thing for you to have to go through. How disappointing when people we thought were "friends" turn out to be anything but. She's probably just jealous of how fantastic you are!

I'm here too if you need anything--I hope things get better for you...and SOON!

{{Hugs}}

 
At 11:15 PM, Blogger Anita said...

I have to echo what everyone else has said. I'm sorry things are so difficult right now and that your friend attacked you. I'm thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way. I hope things get better, with your mother and with the Situation.

 
At 1:00 AM, Blogger Sandy J said...

Hugs to you, Devon. So sorry for your hurt.

 
At 11:34 AM, Blogger Eileen said...

You know, you are so right when you say that you find out who your friends are in a crisis. If anything, that's something positive that can come out of all the negative.

I'm so sorry that this woman was unkind to you. She has issues that she needs to work out obviously. How dare her take them out on another human being.

I had an experience this week where I felt the wrath of someone's unresolved issues. The anger that I felt made it worse, after you deal - it is so important to let it go.

I never watch Bush's speeches. I can stand to listen to him. It's demeaning. He's playing a broken record that keeps repeating itself. I think that this revelation over the spying and his arrogance about it is mind boggling. When I see his face come on the news I dive for the mute button.

In a sea of people who are in it for themselves, there are still good people out there, like you. :)

 

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