Saturday, December 03, 2005

Saturday, December 3, 2005
Waxing Moon
Mars Retrograde
Saturn Retrograde
Cloudy and cold

The good thing about doing the principal call day work is that I’m in the hallway all by myself. I work well without supervision, and, in instances like yesterday, when I’d been blindsided, I’m alone so I can start to think, and not have to be social.

As soon as I have some of this sorted and can freely discuss it, I will. I want to make sure that I’ve explored facts and options, and don’t just go off on pure emotion. Of course, it ties in to both the Mars and Saturn Retrogrades – the fact that I had such a lovely, smooth Merc Ret should have tipped me off something big was about to hit.

All I can do is cope day by day and hope I haven’t lost my ability to think on my feet. I also have to put my head down and work faster and harder than ever.

I managed to finish Chapter 25 of The Fix-It Girl before it all hit and I had to get moving.

Did day work early, came back out here early. Began dealing with The Situation. So totally stressed that I had a migraine, was shaking, was short of breath, etc. Now, that doesn’t solve anything, so I’m hoping I get past that part of the process soon.

Last week, I got an email via the head of my freelancers’ group – a forward from an editor I used to talk to on a fairly regular basis. He was trying to reach me and couldn’t. We both hoped it was because he wanted to buy an article. So I contacted him immediately and just heard back – unfortunately, it was to tell me he wasn’t going to use something they’d asked me to hold exclusively for awhile. I appreciate the commitment to tracking me down. However, I didn’t remember that they had the pitch, so I wasn’t worried about it! And it’s not in my log, which is unusual.

At any rate, I have a couple of other things to pitch him, so there it is.

The KIC web page is now down. I’m assuming that means everything is over. I wish we’d at least gotten a farewell notification. I know the publisher is going through a tough time – I can certainly relate. I know it was time to put it to an end . . .I just wish it had been on better terms.

I’m feeling overwhelmed, but if I simply work piece by piece – the weekend will be dedicated to doing what I can to deal with The Situation. I do have a slight reprieve this morning, because I’m going in to the city to both drop off a meal for my friend who comes home tomorrow and have lunch with a writer friend in town for a few days.

I want to keep writing, even if it’s only a little bit, each day, just to keep my head screwed on.

I wish this had happened AFTER the first of the year. I swear, people who can purposely create problems in the holiday season because they know it causes pain and additional suffering. There is deliberate intent to harm involved, even if it’s on a subconscious level, and a wish to ruin the holiday. I seriously hope there’s a special circle of hell reserved for them. Actually, I’ll let the Universe take care of it – I’m sure it will come up with a much more appropriate and entertaining way to put things in balance than I ever could. It simply will be in a way I don’t expect.

The tarot insists this is all a good thing, even though it’s difficult. I hope, a year from now, I can look back and agree.

I thank you for holding me in your thoughts right now, in this difficult time. As I said, as soon as I can articulate what’s going on, I will. But the next few months will not be easy, and will not be pleasant. I will have to catch the lovely moments where I can and treasure them.



At 12:02 PM, Blogger Lyn Cash said...

I feel ya. Sometimes all we need is one good spiritual boost to recharge us, though, and sounds like you have all the tools. If you were stuffed in the trunk of a car, you'd kick out the taillights. Here's hoping you find the taillights soon and that you have the strength to blast 'em.

At 2:01 PM, Blogger Eileen said...

I was just thinking the other day about people who are on edge during the holiday season and seemingly want to create difficulties for others, for some unknown reason. I definately agree with you. There's a special place reserved for them in their future. What they're doing isn't right. It isn't right during any time of the year.

I'm sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time. If there's anything I can do for you, I would be happy to do so.

I'm glad to hear that the tarot is saying that this is a good thing. That IS a good sign, indeed. :)


Post a Comment

<< Home