Saturday, February 25, 2006

Saturday, February 25, 2006
Waning Moon
Saturn Retrograde
Cloudy and cold

It’s been a difficult few days, and today is the showdown. At noon.

After getting all my ducks in a row last night and making my preparations, I cried. There’s a lot at stake, for a lot of people. Even if today goes well, it is a battle won, not a war. And if it does not go well . . .then the consequences will be immense and ugly.

Hold a good thought for me. For all of us.


Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Waning Moon
Saturn Retrograde
Cloudy and cold

Things continue to accelerate with The Situation. The Other Side ratchets up the pressure, and there’s a big showdown on Saturday.

Needless to say, my February GDRs have been completely derailed, because The Situation has demanded 98% of my energy and attention.

I also realized, yesterday, that it has opened a Pandora’s Box of other issues in my life. Typical, for a Saturn Retrograde (this one is particularly harsh). But, once the immediate danger of this Situation is resolved, one way of the other, each of those other issues must be lifted out of the box and dealt with.

I’m going to have quite a year.

Someday, there will be one book, or several books, to come out of it. But I need to get perspective and distance. Right now I have to concentrate on the daily demands.

I hope today will be relatively quiet so I can get some writing time in; tonight is another meeting.

The stress has fractured my thought/creativity process in disturbing ways. While I can speak relatively coherently as necessary, anything that is not directly related to The Situation cannot hold my attention. I have trouble focusing on reading or writing. I try to meditate, but cannot calm the thoughts. And the thoughts aren’t complete thoughts – a thought begins, fractures into several additional anxieties. The anxiety multiplies like a virus. It is an extremely odd and disquieting sensation. I can’t do yoga, because I can’t hold a pose. The thoughts fracture and multiply and I wobble.

The next few days will get truly ugly; there will be a showdown on Saturday. Then we hopefully will have a better idea of what the next few months will bring. Do we have any breathing space? Or will we immediately need to regroup?

The tarot has spoken to the issues raised, but I can’t seem to put together all the pieces of it. There’s something I’m not seeing – a piece of the puzzle in front of me to which I’m blind.

Thanks so much to my wonderful friends, both immediately beside me in person and those online. Your support through such a difficult time is greatly appreciated.

Hopefully, soon, this blog can get back to discuss my writing process. Right now, it is more of a non-process. But, by at least attempting to blog, by making a few minutes to put keystrokes on screen, I’m not abandoning the writing.

My hope for today is that, provided I can maintain quiet, creative, uninterrupted sacred writing space, I can regain some equilibrium. I think the anxiety that harms the writing causes more anxiety because I’m not writing and perhaps I can reverse some of that spiral today.


PS I would like to clarify my disagreeement regarding the sale of six ports in the US to the UAE. I don't think that US ports should be sold to ANYONE outside of the US. I think they should remain in our own country's control. Ports are too vital to our economy and our security, and should remain under home control. And it is absolutely the citizens' and Congress's business -- the suggestion that the President can make such a decision without answering to the people or to Congress goes beyond offensive. He's our employee, not our dictator.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Monday, February 20, 2006
Waning Moon
Saturn Retrograde
Sunny and cold

The Situation continues to worsen. This will be a very difficult week. We are bracing for personal attacks by the Other Side to try to turn the community against us. I can’t go into detail about the meeting held yesterday, but the depths to which these people will go to achieve their ends and make their profit at the detriment to other lives simply lowers on a daily basis.

I am in despair.


PS I am also majorly pissed that the Bush Administration sold six ports, and, in my opinion, the safety of its citizens, to the UAE. What are they thinking? Profit. Same as those involved in The Situation. Profit without concern for the consequences on those who aren’t rich. Bush wiretaps his own citizens, yet he’ll sell the security of the nation for a few bucks to those who well may wish us harm. All his promises to guarantee our security are yet more smoke he’s blown up everyone’s ass. Obviously, the citizens outside of New York are so ignorant that it will take another attack on the scale of 9/11 in each individual area of the country for people to wake up. Because, hey, if it hasn’t happened to you, it can’t, right? Because your president told you it was fine, and then, literally, sold you out.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

February 18 Part II

I’m tagged! Colin tagged me, so here goes:

Four jobs I’ve had:
Development Assistant at the Guggenheim Museum (temp job);
Typing jewelry policies for Aetna insurance (my first temp job at 17 – they would bring me dollies filled with file folders to type;
Administrator for an arts foundation;
Asst. production manager for an off-off Broadway theatre

Four Movies I Could Watch Over and Over:
The Original Star Wars
Grosse Pointe Blank
The Maltese Falcon
Mystery, Alaska

Four Places I Have Lived:
Tallahassee, FL
San Francisco

Four TV Shows I Watch:
The West Wing
Gray’s Anatomy
Ice hockey or horse racing
Anything I’ve Worked On (hey, I don’t watch much TV, I usually work nights)

Four places I’ve vacationed:

Four Favorite Dishes:
Chocolate Pudding
Shepard’s Pie
Pasta Bolognese

Four Sites I Visit Daily:
There are more than four, but:
Freedom From the Mundane
Costume Imp
Ye Olde Inkwell
100 Days

Four Places I Would Rather Be:
Cape Cod

I tag: Artiessimo, Eileen, Lara, and Diana (Seeking Clarity)


Saturday, February 18, 2006
Waning Moon
Saturn Retrograde
Cloudy and cold

I’m finally back. Sort of. I’ve been handling The Situation, two days on set, and the flu. I’m wiped out. And, just when it seemed things would get better . . .they’re not.

Out early Wednesday to the location. Busy day on set, fun, but busy, since I was doing a new position on the team. I was covering for someone who was ill, so I just sort of jumped in and learned on the fly, rather than being trained. It was fine. They let me go early (which was terribly generous of them and put them in a bad position), because I had to speak at the City Council meeting in regard to the Situation.

I made it to the Council Meeting on time. The room was packed (mostly, two or three people show up to the meetings). Several people spoke, and the Other Side was invited to speak numerous times. The Other Side declined. But took notes on those who did speak. The City Council made it very clear that it will uphold the rights of its constituents and not allow them to be bullied. The Other Side was given a deadline for response, and a new public hearing set in ten days. A sense of relief pervaded those of us involved, while the Other Side stomped out to get on their cell phones and make plans.

Several of us went out for a drink. It was fun – and a place I’d never visited, even though I’d grown up in the town. Nice, low key, friendly, ran into some other people we knew. A good night.

I came home and slept thoroughly for the first time in months.

Thursday, I woke up feeling awful, but got on the train and headed back to the studio. I was the additional, a position I actually know. I managed to get things done, and was even cheerful with people, although I felt awful and they sent me home as soon as the re-shoot unit wrapped because “no one should be that shade of green and you can barely stand up.”

Back out on the train and to bed.

I hadn’t realized until this morning how much both my mother’s accident and The Situation have eaten up my life. I began to think that, perhaps, I could start applying again for Artist-in –Residence positions; or investigate going back out on the road; or other possibilities and start making plans for my own future without worrying about my mother and hers, because it seems that she will be secure for the next few years.

Friday I woke up sick as could be. I stayed in bed nearly all day, drifting in and out of sleep. I simply could not function. The super was called because the sink and the toilet are dripping; after several reassurances that a plumber would be called and be there immediately . . .nothing.

And then, Friday night, the other shoe dropped. Several people in the building received a letter from The Other Side, singling them out for a meeting on Sunday. My mother had a living room full of teary people who didn’t know what to do, and we contacted the City Council to update them.

At least we all had gotten two nights of sleep. And so it starts again.

I HAVE to get some writing done, the plumber needs to show up and we can’t just sit around waiting for him – there has to be an APPOINTMENT, dammit! I have a meeting today and far too much to do tomorrow. I can barely sit up, much less think straight.

On a happy note, the bachelor party monologue was accepted and the guy paid me right away. He loves it (thanks, Colin, for your feedback). The party was supposed to be last night. I hope it was amazing.

I have an article up on the Olympics:

and a fellow writer put up an interesting piece on his blog about a screenwriting “agency”:

I have to try to pull myself together and be coherent at this meeting; maybe I can write either before or after, and write later tonight. Not writing always makes me feel frazzled. I’m making the time as best I can, but the stress of The Situation, which heightens on a daily basis, is, literally, killing me.


Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Waning Moon
Saturn Retrograde
Sunny and cold

Happy Valentine’s Day!

I send love to all my friends all over the world. You love me, challenge me, support me, make me expand my thoughts and experience in so many ways, and it’s wonderful.

I cherish you all.


Monday, February 13, 2006

Monday, February 13, 2006
Last Day of Full Moon
Saturn Retrograde
Sunny and snowy

26.9 inches of snow yesterday! It broke all records for this area! Woo-hoo!

And the thunder and lightening during the storm was amazing! Wow!

And boy, was I glad I wasn’t called in to the show (I would have said no – my days of stomping through blizzards because the producers want the show to go on are OVER). Of course, Metro North started the day with diesel trains (the good ones) on a one-train-every-two-hour schedule and then decided to simply stop. Still better than the LIRR, who left passengers stranded on trains for eight hours or more.

Hear about Dick Cheney? He went quail hunting and shot another man with the pellets. Now, I have several questions here. First of all, does the gun spray pellets? That means he’s not hunting because he’s going to eat what he shoots – it would be impossible to dig all the shot out of a little quail. So he’s hunting for the sheer enjoyment of killing a living creature. Second, if he’s such an avid hunter, one would think he’s a good shot simply due to practice – so he ought to be able to make a kill with a single shot, not spraying a bunch of pellets. It’s also far more humane – ever see a small animal shot with pellets or even a BB? I have and it’s horrifying. I wouldn’t want my worst enemy to suffer that sort of death. It’s not a clean kill; it’s a way to elongate the pain and suffering of the dying creature. Third, this guy can’t tell the difference between a man and a quail? There’s quite a size and shape differential, I can assure you. This is the man second-in-charge of the Little Red Button? And how come he gets to go back to work in DC without even being questioned by the police? Any other citizen would have had to face far more serious consequences. The man he shot is in the hospital in stable condition, as of last report, with shrapnel along the side of his head and chest. This is not some cute little mishap. Even though it was allegedly an accident, it’s still serious.

Meeting yesterday regarding the Situation. It’s sucking the life blood out of me.

Have to send a draft of the bachelor party monologue to my client today. The party is in a few days, and I want us to get the chance to tweak it. I admit, I’m nervous. It makes me realize how much I rely on the rehearsal process to hone this sort of work.

Lots to do and not much time. Yet another meeting tonight. And I have to write a couple of speeches for later in the week.

At least it’s sunny.


Sunday, February 12, 2006

Sunday, February 12, 2006
Full Moon
Saturn Retrograde

15 inches of snow and still counting. No cars on the streets, no trains running, airports closed. We’re expecting up to 24 inches before it tapers off.

It’s beautiful and I’m glad to be inside. The flakes are thick and heavy – hopefully, the power lines won’t go down and no roofs will cave in.

Almost finished with the bachelor party monologue – I need one or two pieces of information from the guy giving the speech so I can write the big finish, and then I’ll go over it a few (dozen) times and send it to him.

Hope the power stays on.

I did a wonderful meditation last night, with candles on and the snow pounding down outside – it was wonderful!

My cyber-friend Lorianne flew to Dublin for a long weekend just because she could – I hope she stays an extra day or two and doesn’t get stuck in an airport somewhere trying to get back. I love hopping on a plane just because, and I applaud her for doing so.

I had to cancel the trip to Paris I wanted to do for my birthday next month because of the Situation, but as soon as everything is resolved with that (many months down the line), I will start making Paris plans again. I’d also wanted to go down to New Orleans with Habitat for Humanity this spring, and that’s on hold, too, until the Situation is resolved.

I want to do some more work on the short story revision (which is due in about three days) and the Fantasy Epic.

There’s a meeting today in regard to the Situation, but it’s close enough so I can walk, and another meeting tomorrow night regarding the Situation on the other end of town, and I’ll probably walk.

My heart breaks for Michelle Kwan’s injury causing her to drop out of the Olympics. I’m not a big figure skating fan, but I’ve always liked her work.

Both the Women’s hockey teams from Canada and the US won yesterday. Woo-hoo!

Off to get some work done.

I love snow! Especially when I’m safely tucked inside.


Saturday, February 11, 2006

Saturday, February 11, 2006
Day before Full Moon
Saturn Retrograde
Cloudy and cold

The amount of snow we’re scheduled to get rises each time the weatherfolk dance across the screen. We’ll see.

Just in case, I got extra candles, wine, and 9 volt batteries for the transistor radio. Gal’s gotta be prepared.

I was mostly a waste of food yesterday, doing internet searches in relation to The Situation, talking to others involved about it, etc., etc.

I managed to rough out the bachelor party monologue, and will do some more work on it today. I pitched for three other interesting projects – all three of which sound like a ton of fun and something to which I’d be well suited.

The press needs to lay off Wayne Gretzky. It is not illegal to place a bet. It is not illegal for one’s wife to place a bet. If I had $75,000 to bet on the Super Bowl – well, you know, I’d bet it on the Kentucky Derby or whatever. My rule is: don’t bet what you can’t afford to lose. If she chooses to bet rather than buy shoes, or if she can afford to be and buy the shoes, good for her. And if Gretzky was recorded asking someone how to protect his wife – he’s merely being a loyal husband. For the Daily News to headline him on the front page – especially when there is so much real news happening in the world – is both mean and irresponsible. And then, of course, in the very last line of the article, in the tiniest print possible, the writer admits that nothing mentioned above was illegal. Disgusting.

Watched the opening ceremonies for the Olympics last night – a favorite event since I was a little girl. I’m writing an article about it for FemmeFan. Not to give away too much, but for the first eighteen minutes, at 8 PM EST, I thought I was watching a car commercial. With the serious intonation and snowcapped mountains and all. Then I realized they were wasting time re-broadcasting news in a different package that they’d already run, wasting time to lead up to the actual ceremony. Just start at 9 already then, okay? And why did the athletes march in by country to . . .disco? Even though Bob Costas and Brian Williams kept referring to the music as “80’s pop tunes” – um, “Burn Baby Burn” is from the 70s. My dating life started at that time, I was there, and I know.

Lots to do today – work on the monologue, get out a press release for a client, do a couple of pieces for FemmeFan. And I’d like to watch the Canadian women’s hockey team play this afternoon.

Hopefully, the power won’t go out in what is now being called a blizzard.


Friday, February 10, 2006

Friday, February 10, 2006
Waxing Moon
Saturn Retrograde
Cloudy and snowing

It’s estimated we could have as much as a foot of snow by Sunday morning. The weatherfolk are usually wrong, but, just in case, I did the grocery shopping early.

I attended a meeting last night regarding The Situation, and all I can say is that I am not surprised, merely disappointed. There is a way to handle this so that everyone gets what they want and need with harm to none, but that is not the choice that was made.

I have to get some work done today, in spite of everything. I’m falling way behind.

I’m happy and excited about the bachelor party speech. The person who hired me sent me the rest of the info I need, and it’s going to be a lot of fun.

I’m also looking forward to the Olympics. Ice hockey (men and women’s) and downhill skiing are my favorites. The Winter Olympics are my favorite – I love winter sports (even though I don’t do many).

Okay, trying to focus a bit and get some work done.


Thursday, February 09, 2006

Thursday, February 09, 2006
Waxing Moon
Saturn Retrograde
Sunny and cold

Yet another shock in the escalating Situation. A piece of semi-comforting news last night (though there is bound to be retaliation), and then, third-hand, another shock this morning.

Not much to report. I played with ideas for the speech I’m supposed to write this week for the bachelor party, and am waiting more info from the guy hiring me. I’m worried that the samples I sent weren’t raunchy enough, but I warned him about them, and reassured him that, yes, I’ve written erotica, and I CAN go there. We’ll see what happens.

I did a lot of meditation yesterday to try and get back some semblance of balance. Just started to get there when . . .bam, again.

Went out to run my forgotten errand yesterday, and remembered I also needed to buy zippers for upcoming sewing projects. Who knew it was so hard to find a zipper in Westchester? I remember when I could get them at Woolworth’s.

I miss Woolworth’s!

I ended up with a research book and a backrest and a bunch of stuff from the drug store, but no zippers. I’d prefer not to have to drive cross-county thirty miles for one – the gas’ll be more than the zipper! Maybe I’ll get one next time I’m in the city – swing through the garment district on my way to the theatre.


Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Waxing Moon
Saturn Retrograde
Sunny and cold

Had a stack of errands to run this morning and just this second realized that one of the major ones, involving sending something off to Canada, was completely forgotten and I have to drag myself out again. Urgh.

Circadian poem for the day is up, as is the SDR blog column.

I THINK I’ve been hired to write a roast for a bachelor party, where the groom’s a hockey fan. Sounds like fun, and I hope it works out.

I don’t have anything to say about the gambling ring allegations against the assistant coach of the Phoenix Coyotes . . .yet. I’m sure I’ll have a few choice words when I get more information. Frankly, I don’t see what the big deal is, since none of the parties involved were betting on hockey. But then, I don’t have all the information, and once I do, I might have a clue why the authorities are so upset.

More work looms on The Situation, but, for about five minutes, I’m slightly less stressed.

And there’s plenty of creative writing clamoring for attention. Better get to it.

Oh, a bright spot in the day: The Llewellyn 2006 Wicca Almanacs have shipped. I have two articles in there (as Cerridwen Iris Shea). The book looks good, and I’m pleased with the way it came out.


Tuesday, February 07, 2006

February 7 Part II

My SO and I have split, at my request. There’s no way I can resemble an adequate partner until The Situation is resolved. That’s going to take months, with the stress and ugliness of it escalating daily, and there’s no way around it. Plus, my SO’s work demands are getting more stressful and he’s got drama to deal with in his work. How he rises to the occasion over the next few months will define his career for the next few years. If we were in the same place, we might have a shot. But, being so far apart with such intense pressures on both of us, trying to keep a relationship going is hurting both of us instead of helping us. I know I need to be able to be in the relationship with a clear head and an open heart, and, due to The Situation, I can’t do it.

He insists on looking at this as a hiatus, and is already making plans for us for summer, when he is confident both of us will have resolved the separate issues that are all-encompassing right now. I am well aware of how extraordinary he is, and I have no doubt he will be scooped up within a week. By summer, I’ll be little more than a (hopefully pleasant) memory.

I don’t mind being unattached, and it certainly holds no fear for me. And until The Situation is resolved, that must be my primary focus. Then, I can get back to the rest of my life. There’s too much at stake, too much uncertainty, and too much daily fluctuation in facts and assumptions until then. If we’re meant to be, we will be, farther down the line, with both of us working at it. There’s no anger or betrayal or bitterness on either side, and that makes it even more difficult, if that makes any sense. He is truly extraordinary, embodying all the qualities I always wanted in a partner and never thought I’d find. And we’ve overcome quite a few hurdles in our time together.

But there’s too much at stake in my life chaos due to The Situation, and he has far too much at stake in his career for us both to go down with the ship. In his career, there’s no such thing as a do-over. Few second chances. You blow it, you’re done. I refuse to be the cause of him blowing his career because the chaos in my life is such a distraction, or because those behind The Situation try to force me to capitulate by hurting him or his career.

I’m sad, but I have to batten down the hatches and gather my energy for a long and ugly fight ahead of me in the next few months.


Tuesday, February 7, 2006
Waxing Moon
Saturn Retrograde
Cloudy and cold

Quick! Help a greyhound! Visit this blog:

and leave a comment. Money will be donated for each comment to help Greyhound rescue. As you know, it’s a breed I adore, and as soon as I own a house, I plan to adopt a pair of cat-friendly, ex-racer greyhounds and spoil them for years!

This comment-a-thon ends tonight, so the sooner, you hop over, the more dogs you can help!

Thanks to Lorianne of Hoarded Ordinaries ( for the link.

Actually, I have lots for which to thank Lorianne, whom I “met” via Nano. Um, let’s see, all her wonderful photographs of Keene, NH, and her insight, and getting me involved in the meditation blog, 100 Days (

So . . .thanks, Lorianne!

Finally, a good writing day yesterday. I worked on The Fix-It Girl, finishing Chapter 28, and Arnie, the male protagonist who’s involved with Mavis, surprised me with something I didn’t expect to be revealed until several chapters further. But he decided that the time was now.

Did some work on Periwinkle, and then had to stop because I have to research a recipe that’s going to be important in the current section. Once again, Charlie Zablowski’s threatening to hijack the book, although I promised him one of his own. He’s a good character. And he’s actually inspired by someone I met a few years ago, but he’s taken on a life of his own, separate from the real man (whose name I never found out).

I adapted two more scenes of Glamorous Hearts, which was fun. Expanding it out isn’t as difficult as I thought. I’ll have to add some characters – such as Harriet’s family, who weren’t at all a part of the radio play, and the servants in her household, and some friends. But I’m still keeping Harriet, William, Martine, and Leonard the focus.

Put in the fixes for Draft 6’s revised chapters 12 & 13 of Clear the Slot, and started typing in Chapter 14 (which was Chapter 19 in the fifth draft). Also made some notes for Book 3 of the series, Back Stop.

Did some work on “Ris An Abrar” (AKA the Fantasy Epic). The problem with writing the piece is I get so caught up in it that I get disoriented when I stop. Unlike many fantasy writers, I don’t sit down and create the world first. I learn the world as I write the first draft – the characters and situations reveal it to me. And then I hone it and fix discrepancies in the revisions. If I try to sit down and plot out the world, commonly called “world-building” first, it becomes stale and uninteresting. More power to the people who CAN sit down and figure it all out ahead of time; but I am not of their number.

This piece is also interesting because it demands an explictness and a graphic density that I rarely expose in the writing. But, it serves the piece and therefore, that’s the way it is. Now I have to go back and read the anthology guidelines, to make sure I haven’t “explicted” myself right out of contention.

If I have, there are markets I can explore; but I’d prefer to send it to the market for which it was created.

And, I have a sinking sensation it’s going to be more than 9000 words. It’s okay, it can get up to 20,000, but I’m looking at deadline factors.

But what a relief to have a good writing day. If I can build a string of them, I’ll be a happy camper. Er, writer. Er . . .

Off to the theatre.


The Fix-It Girl – 61,970 words (goal 100,000)
Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
61 / 100

Periwinkle - 16,856 (goal 90,000)
Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
16 / 90

Clear the Slot, 6th Draft – 68,069 (goal 100,000)
Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
68 / 100

Monday, February 06, 2006

Feb. 6, 2006 Part III

Project Status Bars:

The Fix-It Girl First Draft – 60,790 words (goal 100,000)
Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
60 / 100

Shallid First Draft – 88,250 words
Zokutou word meter
88 / 88

Periwinkle First Draft – 16,374 words (goal 90,000)
Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
16 / 90

Clear the Slot – 6th Draft – 51,388 words (goal 100,000) {Note: this does not count revised Chapters 12 & 13 which still need to be proofed).
Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
51 / 100

“Ris An Abrar” First Draft – 2500 words (goal 9,000)
Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
2 / 9

Feb. 6, 2006 Part II

This is Freelance Writers’ Appreciation Week.

So you’d better start appreciating! ;)

Monday, February 06, 2006
Waxing Moon
Saturn Retrograde
Partly sunny and cold

Today’s poem is up on Circadian and column is up on Kemmyrk.

Congrats to the Steelers on a good game last night, and yay, they are the Super Bowl champions for the year.

I had the game on one channel and the live feed from the AHL all-star game on the computer (since I had to have that info for a possible article). Canada won the AHL all-star, 9-4.

And Giacamo, the Kentucky Derby winner for 2005, came in third in a stakes race at Santa Anita on Saturday – he did a great job, and I hope he has a good year this year.

Managed to get some work done on the Clear the Slot revision. The next three chapters that loom before me (chapters 19, 20 & 21 in Draft 5) have to be pretty much thrown out and started from scratch. They deal with the episode that’s never really worked in five drafts; even my ideas on the rewrite from last week don’t ring true enough, so I’m going to try something completely different. I still need to reach the same result, but I have to be both more creative and more realistic in getting there.

And I want to work on the Fantasy Epic and the short story revision today.

Back to work.


Sunday, February 05, 2006

Sunday, February 5, 2006
Waxing Moon
Saturn Retrograde
Sunny and mild

Yesterday afternoon was spent doing damage control and trying to fix what had been screwed up. Hopefully, I was effective. I hate it when people create unnecessary drama and unnecessary work because they don’t have their acts together.

Oh, well.

Needless to say, no creative work was done yesterday, which left me feeling worse than ever.

I did some business work this morning, and now I hope to work a bit on the revisions for Clear the Slot. I am determined to take tonight off and enjoy the game. Which is bizarre, because I am not a football fan, especially if the Patriots aren’t playing. In today’s contest, I’m rooting for the Steelers. I lived in Seattle for one miserable year, and was often in contact with Seahawks players. Every one of them I had any dealings with was vile. I’m sure there are all different players now, but I’ve never gotten over my dislike of the team.

Congratulations to the New York Rangers, who are now #1 in the Eastern Conference standings. It’s been tough to be a Rangers fan for the last few years – mostly, in my opinion, because management screwed around too much with the team. But this year, they were pretty much left alone so the coaches could coach and the players could play, and here they are. Good for them. The Devils, I believe, are in contention for a playoff spot, and the Islanders aren’t too far away from a spot. I’d like to see all three local teams in the playoffs.

Olympics start on Friday. I wish I could be there; unfortunately, the person with whom I would have gone to the games had to cancel for health reasons, and then, with The Situation as precarious as it is, I can’t be away for two weeks. So I have to rely on writing my commentaries from live feeds. Not as good as being there, but we’ll see what I come up with. If it’s worth submitting, I’ll do it. If it’s a bunch of crap, I won’t.

I’m most excited about the women’s hockey teams. I think it’s disgusting that there is no professional women’s hockey league on par with the NHL.

We’re doing the equivalent of Tapas for tonight’s Super Bowl party – small plates of Spanish, Mexican, Asian, Vietnamese, Italian, and French foods, with choices of wines and Blue Moon wheat ale.

I just want to kick back and relax for a few hours.

I also plan to watch the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet.

Now, to try and get some work done.


Saturday, February 04, 2006

Saturday, February 4
Waxing Moon
Venus Direct (actually, as of yesterday)
Saturn Retrograde
Warm and rainy

Pissed because I took off a day and lost a day’s pay to help someone out who then turned around and was so disorganized that all the work in the previous three days to make today’s work possible (which I also did) and all the careful bridge building I did to make today possible is now rendered useless.

Plus, I’m out a day’s pay.

The press release is done and sent to the client for feedback. I want to try and get some other work done but I’m so exhausted (stress and worry caused by the Situation, which has ratcheted up yet again, even before today’s incident meant another sleepless night) and so upset that I don’t know how I’m going to focus.

I just want to go somewhere and cry.


Friday, February 03, 2006

Friday, February 3, 2006
Waxing Moon
Saturn Retrograde
Venus Retrograde
Rainy and warm

The brook’s pretty high and I’m wondering whether or not I should move the car to higher ground.

Far too much of yesterday was caught up in dealing with The Situation, and I got little creative work done.

I did, however, pull several job opportunities off the boards and now I have to sit down and prepare packets. And I honored a tarot booking.

I wrote both of this week’s columns for Kemmyrk, and they are now posted. This morning, I got up the latest Circadian poem.

I have to write a press release today for someone, and, hopefully, then I can turn my attention back to writing. I’m exhausted, both mentally and physically, suffering from the toll taken by The Situation.

I hope that diving in to some creative work will help. Once I get back into its rhythm, I can push aside the other distractions and can focus on the actual work. I want to work on the hockey book some more – hell, I want to dive in and live there – in spite of the conflicts within the piece, if I could move into any fictional world and stay, that’s the one it would be.


Thursday, February 02, 2006

Thursday, February 2, 2006
Waxing Moon
Groundhog Day
Saturn Retrograde
Venus Retrograde
Sunny and cool

Exhausted. Barely got any sleep. Another Town Council meeting last night, and more chaos in regard to The Situation. Knowing the next few months will get progressively more and more stressful is one thing; having to live it is another.

This morning was caught up in paperwork for it, and also I have to take off work on Saturday to deal with it. Not happy about this at all.

Not sure if I need a bottle of Advil or a bottle of scotch.

I’m going to take some time out for lunch now, and then focus on my commitments for the afternoon. I have several non-Situation related things that need to get done.

Got the fixes in for Chapter 11 of Clear the Slot yesterday and typed in the new Chapter 12. Also sent off a few pitches for interesting assignments. There’s one I’ve held on to because I’m on the fence about it – the pay seems unnaturally low for the assignment. It would be fun – a radio play. However, they want all rights, and I don’t like to sell all rights for small sums of money. Creatively, it would be fun. However, I believe it’s a poor business decision on my part, so I’ll probably pass.

I couldn’t concentrate on my meditation this morning, so I will try again after lunch to clear my head for the afternoon’s work.

Best wishes to NY Islander Kevin Colley who broke his neck the other night in a game; he is scheduled for surgery tomorrow. May he have a hasty and complete recovery.

Colin asked for my opinion on Bush’s State of the Union message. I found it offensive. “Addicted to oil” – that’s because he encourages his rich oil friends to profit from crises in the Mid-East and Katrina and allows them to charge whatever they want. Exxon’s profit was $36 Billion dollars last year, while over a million people were homeless and even more couldn’t afford heat. Where’s the justice in that? If he’s pushing Ethanol as an alternative, that means his already-rich friends have found a way to profit from it, at the expense of regular working people. And to spend less than a minute on Hurricane Katrina was a slap in the face to everyone on the Gulf Coast who suffered and continues to suffer from it. Not to mention that he’s already cut the aid he promised in that staged reading in front of St. Louis Cathedral, and the aid that has been sent isn’t getting to the actual people who need it. He’s so isolated from the reality of people’s daily lives that it’s beyond a joke – it’s appalling.


Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Waxing Moon
Saturn Retrograde
Venus Retrograde
Cloudy and cool

I am saddened by the death of playwright Wendy Wasserstein. She had an enormous influence on my life and work. The community, and the world at large, is poorer with her loss on many levels.

I also mourn Coretta Scott King.

It’s been a busy and odd few days, and, frankly, I’ve been too blue to blog. The Situation is simply going to continue to get uglier and uglier and uglier for the next few months, but each day it does so, it feels like a body blow. The most important thing I have to do is stand firm and keep a cool head.

Got a call Sunday night for a 6 AM Monday morning call. Went into the city to my friend’s sanctuary, and we had a good catch-up and play time with his cats. I was up at 4 AM and in the subway station at 5 AM on Monday. Too bad no damn trains came until 6:18. Now, the subways are supposed to run all night. I was furious. It didn’t help that a crazy man was wandering up and down the platform waving a box cutter and threatening to cut people. Not a cop or an MTA worker to be found. Typical. Peter Kalikow, et al keep giving themselves raises and closing booths, rather than keeping riders safe and actually keeping the subways running.

I was a half hour late for my call, but managed to get the extras dressed before they were needed for their first shot. I had actually unpacked my bag and put on my kit, et al in the train (which several people thought was odd) so all I had to do when I walked into the studio was drop the coat and the bag and walk into the room.

Two units shooting, so I bounced back and forth between them like a ping pong ball. One unit shot the episode currently scheduled; the other did a new scene for a previous episode. The people who’ve seen the pilot (which will air on March 3) say it looks good.

It was a busy, but good day, and I got home at a reasonable hour and fell into bed. Up early on Tuesday and into the city again to do day work at the show. They’re starting to prepare for the London production, so it was busy, busy, busy.

Got everything done, came home, and worked more on the revisions of Clear the Slot. The fixes are in the revised Chapter 11 of Draft 6, and I’ve started typing in the rewrites for the new Chapter 12. I’ve done some of the rewrites on the old Chapters 16-20 – I have a massive rewrite of one game to do. That particular plot point hasn’t worked in five damn drafts and it still doesn’t work, so I’m changing it to something which does. Why the hell it took me six drafts to admit it doesn’t work – it’s not as though it was something to which I was particularly attached – I don’t know.

Today’s SDR blog is up, about belief in your work, inspired by a debate I recently had with an aspiring writer. Circadian will go up soon. For some reason, I’m having big problems with that blog right now.

It’s the first day of February. Imbolc. Candlemass. Where one feels the stirrings underneath of the changes brought by spring. Maybe that’s why I’m so restless.

January’s GDR Wrap-up:

Primary Project: The Fix-It Girl
Goal: 88 pages.
Actual: Less than that, but I’m not sure by how much.

Secondary Project: Shallid.
Goal: 22 pages.
Actual: Much more than that. Finished the first draft.

Waiting in the Wings: Periwinkle.
It waited beautifully, and is now ready to rotate in as the Secondary Project.

Ancillary Project: Life With Aunt Dot.
Goal: whatever I could do on it.
Actual: Title changed to Hearth Phoenix. Two chapters done.

In Edit: Clear the Slot.
Draft 6 is more than half way done. Also working on the logline, one paragraph blurb and outline/synopsis. I anticipate I’ll need another month on it. But I’m very happy with the progress.

Resting: Tapestry
And it does it so well.

Begin adapting Glamorous Hearts into a novel.
Read the entire piece and realized how much I still like it. Figured out how it will need to be adapted – a very different process from my usual writing/revision/editing process, because it will have to be built chapter-by-chapter instead of doing a full draft, then going back and doing a full edit. I’ve adapted the first scene. I have several more scenes to adapt before I have an entire chapter, and I’m still trying to decide which scenes will constitute the first chapter. I also realized that I need to open it out more, since it’s no longer a radio play and I don’t have to limit myself to six performers.

Outline Inara project.
Not done, because I’m on the fence about it.

Serial Clean-up: Work on Angel Hunt.
Re-read some of it and feel I’ve lost the thread. I need to figure out how I want to finish it and do some notes before I can do so.

Stories: rewrite one for SDR and write the Fantasy Epic –as many drafts as possible.
Not happy with the rewrite of the first story. Work on the second is going more slowly than I would like, but I have a bit of extra time.

1 article
Was scheduled for this weekend, but couldn’t get it done. Is pushed to next month.

4 columns for SDR blog

Circadian Poems
Done, in spite of technical difficulties, which meant not everything published on the day originally scheduled.

9 columns for Kemmyrk
Got 8 done. Will do a double column this week to make up for it.

1 column for SDR mag
Done and sent as of the first week of January.

Continue query Dixie Dust Rumours
Did a bit, but not as many as I should have. I think I want to redo the synopsis. I’m not happy with it, although I was when I began the query process. While I wait for responses, I can hone the synopsis.

Work on The Situation
It’s a daily controversy which will only get uglier the next few months and is an enormous drain on me both physically and emotionally. Unfortunately, it’s affecting everything else.

As many pitches as possible. Goal is 3-5 a day.
Sometimes there weren’t 3-5 places to which to pitch each day. I ended up batching them more.

Thirteen Traveling Journals Project
It needs more attention than it got.

Devon’s Random Newsletter

13 Journals Newsletter

Quarterly Update Newsletter

Get up DE site
I wrote new text and even coded about 2/3 of it, then dumped it all and am starting fresh. So I’m behind.

Work on Fearless Ink and CC sites
Worked on text.

Write one chapter of the Tarot Book
I went over my material and am focusing my point of view a bit more. The tone’s a bit too floaty and frou-frou for my taste.

Go Through Submission Log and do necessary follow-ups

Try the 13-in-Play Theory
Eight pieces out right now. Will try to get more out in the next week or so.

Circadian Newsletter
Break-through on The Widow’s Chamber

To-Do List for February:
1. Primary Project: The Fix-It Girl with a goal of: 68 pages
2. Secondary Project: Periwinkle with a goal of: 20 pages
3. Waiting-in-the-Wings Project Ready to go into Rotation: Ransagh
4. Ancillary Project: Hearth Phoenix
5. In Edit: Clear the Slot
6. Resting: Tapestry
7. To Type: Shallid
8. 4 columns for SDR blog
9. 8 columns for Kemmryk
10. Write next column for SDR mag (May issue)
11. Finish rewrite on story
12. Complete and rewrite Fantasy Epic
13. Circadian Poems
14. Continue with queries for Dixie Dust Rumours; hone synopsis
15. Devon’s Random Newsletter
16. Complete DE site
17. Work on Fearless Ink and CC sites
18. One Chapter of Tarot Book
19. One draft of one chapter of Glamorous Hearts
20. 13-in-play
21. Work on Angel Hunt
22. Article pushed back from January and Olympic articles for FemmeFan
23. Outline Inara project (or decide to drop it).