Friday, March 3, 2006
Sunny and cold
I am back, somewhat, online. The Situation isn’t over, although the City Council passed a resolution to protect us on the state level. Now, we’re bracing for the retaliation. The next few months won’t be pretty, at all.
We take a moment to savor the fact that our elected officials actually give a damn about us in this town – a nice contrast to much of what’s going on at a national level.
On other fronts, I’ve worked on the television show for the past three days. It’s been wacky. Someday, we’re going to have to stop doing re-shoots for episode 2 – it airs next week. The premiere is on tonight. I’m very excited to see how it all fits together. Since scenes are shot in fragments and out of sequence, it’s impossible to know how it all fits together.
We had some strange people in the background over the past few days. Three days ago, casting hadn’t given us the correct information and we were dressing them on set right before the shots. Very stressful. Two days ago, they all brought the wrong stuff and it took us two hours to dress forty background. Yesterday, a background went up to the BG PA and said, “My agent told me this would be a lead. I want to go home.” And he left. (PS – Agents don’t send their clients on background – did he think we don’t know that?)
Wednesday night, the fire alarm went off in the studio, and we all had to evacuate. I guess they weren’t pleased with the way we did so, because yesterday we got a “safety memo” stating we needed to hustle a bit more.
I haven’t written anything except material for The Situation in two weeks. I’ve done a good deal of writing preparing information regarding The Situation so that those in the decision-making positions have as many facts as clearly laid out as possible.
How do people who don’t write survive? It’s been torture. I feel completely disconnected not only from my own life, but from life. I’m out of balance. The Situation has sucked up every bit of energy and creativity, and I’m longing to get back to the world of Clear the Slot, the world of The Fix-It Girl, the world of Periwinkle.
February’s GDRs are completely trashed, and I’m not even going to make a list for March until I know what’s going on. I’m going to have to steal moments and make the best of whatever time I can put together and try to generate some creative energy. Not writing makes me feel stifled, fractured, disjointed and, pardon the expression, creatively constipated.
I hope I get some quiet time this weekend – time without any sort of crisis, so that I can think and be and write.
My comfort book through all of this has been yet another re-read of May Sarton’s Journal of a Solitude. Although she gets on my last nerve often, there is also so much rich information about the creative process and the constant conflict to balance the inner and outer worlds.
The level of emotional exhaustion as well as physical is quite deep in my life now. I hope that, by fiercely wrestling some time for myself this weekend, I can start feeling like myself again.
The Situation has opened a Pandora’s box of life issues – typical Saturn Retrograde – that need to be examined and handled. I can’t do it all at once – I have to break it down into do-able bits.
But it has to start sooner rather than later. I can’t plan the future without taking care of the past and present.
I don’t know what sort of shift that will cause in this year’s GDRs, but perhaps March is the month in which to explore that issue.
Thanks to everyone for their love and support through all of this.