Thursday, June 29, 2006
Cloudy and hot
The Situation has been resolved. In our favor.
No more living under siege. No more jumping every time there’s a phone call or a step on the stair.
It will take time to stop doing just that, but, eventually, it will happen.
I’m relieved, I’m still uneasy from living for months under siege, I’m weepy, I’m nauseous. I’ve held myself together for months with tension and adrenalin. It will take time to live like a normal human being again. Well, as normal as I get, anyway.
There’s a lot of damage, and it doesn’t just go away because there’s resolution. But the resolution is the first step into the recovery.
I have to take it easy, not rush myself, not push too hard. Just take time to reflect and renew. I want to make decisions based on what I really want for the next cycle of my life, not based as a reaction to what’s happened.
I’m so grateful to everyone who worked to resolve this – our City Councilors, the people at DHCR, the other tenants. We worked hard. We did not allow ourselves to be bullied or victimized. We stood up for what we believed was right, without crossing the line into righteousness, and I think that helped us.
And I’m grateful to all my friends for supporting me over the past months. It’s meant a lot.
I just wish I didn’t feel like I was run over by a truck.
Speaking of being run over by a truck, I nearly was this morning, on my way to the grocery store. I approached a red light. An eighteen wheeler (or more, I didn’t count wheels, but it was a damn big truck) swung wide around the corner at 30 mph, and we were grill to grill. There was nothing I could do – a line of SUVs were behind me – and, of course, talking on cell phones and accelerating at the red light, as they do.
Thank goodness the truck driver was so skilled, and, at speed, could swing all the way around and then back past me without crunching me.
Did I really need this before my first cup of coffee? I don’t think so.
The shows were fine yesterday. It’s a bit surreal to be dressing again. I’ve only done theatre prep work and the television work for the past few months. I got home at nearly 1 AM, so I’m exhausted, but, hey, it’s a week and then I’ll take some time off next week.
My friend A. and I had a luxurious dinner at Maison (can you say “chocolate hazelnut crepes stuffed with bananas” for dessert)?
I stopped at the bookstore to get some backstage reading (it’s too difficult to read diaries or non-fiction or something where I have to concentrate too much). I bought Jasper Fforde’s Something Rotten (I’ve read the other three Thursday Next books and loved them); Linda Bloodworth Thomason’s Liberating Paris, and Matthew Pearl’s The Dante Club. That should keep me busy this week. My DVDs also arrived, but I won’t get to see them until well into next week.
Back to Real for a couple of hours before I go back to the theatre, and also some research on my articles due Aug. 1. Yeah, it’s not July yet, but they’re complicated.
Also have to get out six more queries for the query challenge in the next two days.