Saturday, August 05, 2006

Saturday, August 05, 2006
Waxing Moon
Pluto Retrograde
Neptune Retrograde
Uranus Retrograde
Hot, but not as humid

Day 27 of Home Om on Kemmyrk.

Yesterday was a nightmare. A “challenging” day, to say the least. It is impolitic for me to go into the details here, but let’s just say that I never considered myself an anal-retentive organizational neat freak (just look at my living room) until yesterday. Also, it wouldn’t make sense to anyone who’s never worked on a set. The intricacies and dynamics would take so long to explain, we’d all forget what was the point.

Granted, the show is complicated – the scripts I’ve read are some of the best I’ve ever read – and they’re basically trying to shoot a feature every eight days (features take several months, and even tv movies usually take at least three weeks). It’s not going to be smooth sailing. But there are certain complications that don’t need to be there. If what’s being shot actually makes it on screen, the show will be awesome. And the actors that are assembled for even some of the small roles are astonishing.

Yesterday simply re-emphasized many of the reasons I want to get out of this business completely and write full time. I’m grateful for this opportunity – and, of course, the money – but the circumstances are just not how I want to live anymore.

One funny point – we shot yesterday in the same location where we shot part of the pilot I worked on last October! And that series, which has been picked up, is currently shooting, and will start airing in January – was shooting right around the corner!

It’s great that there are so many productions going on in New York right now – productions that are set here that actually shoot here, because you can’t replicate New York in another city or on a soundstage. I don’t believe you can accurately replicate any city – each city has its own character and vibe – but even more so with New York, which is almost a planet unto itself.

I was delighted to be cut after 12 hours, instead of having to stay 14-16. I staggered home and fell in to bed. And slept in. I’m having a hard time getting going this morning. I had to get my glasses fixed – wearing the headset for the walkie for the past two days bent the frames because of the way the headset had to sit on my head.

The teamsters on this show are great, and so helpful! Because I genuinely like and enjoy them (as opposed to ass kissing), they take good care of me, and cart me to and fro as necessary, rather than making me wait until there’s a scheduled run.

I have absolutely nothing interesting to say today. I haven’t read a newspaper in days – for all I know the world could have ended – we’d have never noticed in the studio. It’s slightly sick at how insular that environment can get. How important certain things become in that universe that, in the real universe, don’t matter worth a damn.

That’s another reason I want to leave the business: If we expect to have a world – any world – to exist for the children, it is our responsibility to create that world every day. Not leave it to the politicians and the corporate heads who are far too busy lining their own pockets to care about the man on the street (whose pockets they pick on a daily basis to line their own).

Art can change the world, for the positive or negative. Unfortunately, so few projects are concerned with anything more than making money . . .that’s not a criticism of the project on which I’ve been working, which I think specifies some interesting social commentary – but it’s a comment about the industry in general. There’s a difference between being entertaining (which is important) and ONLY being out to make a buck for oneself.

We all have days where we want (and need) to say, “F**k you all, I need time off.” And there are enough people so that some can take time off while others step up. But when people chose to play ostrich . . .awareness is not enough. There has to be action. Inaction = condonement and what is being condoned in the world right now is horrifying. And will touch each of us individually at some point in our lives.

(Today is definitely a “f**k you all” day for me, by the way – I go back to being a responsible citizen on Monday. So someone’s got to cover me for the weekend. Doesn’t mean I don’t love you and don’t feel a deep sense of responsibility towards you – I just can’t deal with you today).

Chaz posted two interesting quizzes the other day: One was “How will you be defined in the dictionary?”

The answer to my name was “a poltergeist sent back in time to change the course of history forever.”

Which made me laugh.

The other was “Which mythological creature are you?”

My answer was: “Chimera.”

That’s interesting -- I wrote an article about chimeras a year? Two years? Ago for . . .something. Chimeras are savage, made up of bits of lion, goat, and serpent, winged, breathing fire, and are associated with the goddess Innana.

Yeah, I often breathe fire. Considering how much water and earth are in my chart, it’s interesting how fire shows up in certain elements of the personality. I’ll have to go back and re-read Jung on all that. His work on fascination with the occult and the need for myth is intriguing. And how archetypes are hardwired into us is also interesting.

I’m reading a truly lovely, exciting, and delightful book about friendship called Annie Freeman’s Fabulous Traveling Funeral by Kris Radish. If you want a book that will make you laugh, cry, and appreciate your friends even more than you already do, read it.

I’ve procrastinated enough now. I’ll probably nap on and off today, but I’m also going to work on Literary Athlete, another article, and three of the 25 short articles due at the end of the month.

And, I’m determined to get a few pages of fiction in or I’ll just implode.



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