Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Wednesday, August 9, 2006
Full Moon
Pluto Retrograde
Neptune Retrograde
Uranus Retrograde
Sunny and pleasant

Magic Shoes.

Yes, they really exist. And I now own a pair.

It started because I wore a dress to work. Normally, I don’t – if I’m on set or working a show, I have to be able to move and contort and don’t want to worry about the Panty Flash. Even when it’s good lingerie. But yesterday, I knew there was no way in hell I was staying to work the show, so I wore a dress – a brightly patterned one I made ten years ago when we took Roadkill to Australia and I couldn’t afford new clothes, so I made a bunch – and I’m still wearing them because they turned out so well.

With this dress, I wore a pair of my favorite red sandals, which matches the red in the dress. These shoes are probably twenty years old now, wood lower, leather upper, remarkably comfortable, very chic. I bought them in Europe at some point. Probably Italy.

I’m traipsing across town, feeling good, getting complimented by strangers, etc. when . . .the strap on my shoe breaks. In such a way that I can no longer wear it, especially going up and down concrete stairs carrying armloads of clothing, and getting on and off trains.

I look up. I just HAPPEN to be standing in front of Nine West.

There IS a goddess, and she loves shoes.

I walk in and say, “Do you take Discover?”

They do.

Even though I’m on a schedule, I have to look around. I need a shoe with a back or a back strap so I don’t go tumbling down the stairs or lose it on the train tracks (I’m a klutz).

Then, I see them.

Metallic cobalt blue ballet flats.

“Do you have this in my size?”

They did.

They were on sale.

I wore them out of the store, put my red sandals in the box for the Magic Shoes (because I am GETTING them fixed, dammit) and continued to work.

Where everyone shrieked with delight over the shoes.

I am also very, very, VERY grateful that I could walk into a shoe store and buy a pair of shoes (on sale) when mine broke. There have been plenty of times in my life when buying a pair of $3 plastic sandals on the street would have been a stretch.

And today, I was lucky enough to buy The Magic Shoes.

Work was fine. Several colleagues needed a listener today, which I was glad to do. They’ve certainly listened to me enough during The Situation. I’m glad to do something in return.

On the way home, people were literally running out of stores (Kenneth Cole and Cole Haan, to be specific) to compliment me on my shoes.

I stopped at Sephora, across from Rockefeller Center. I was in to refill my Stila eyeshadow in Jezebel (hey, it’s lasted two years, I’m entitled to a refill) and pick up a tube of Sephora’s shimmer gloss in Rosy Glow – a make-up artist said I should always keep a tube of it in my purse because it goes with everything on everyone. And it’s relatively inexpensive.

Then, right next to it was a tube of “Faintly Berry” which looked good, so I grabbed a tube (although I couldn’t read what it was on the packet due to the packaging). In summer, I’ll wear sheers and neutrals, but the rest of the year, it’s plums and berries.

And then . . .

Urban Decay’s Goddess eye shadow.

Navy blue sparkle eyeshadow.

I have a Stila gray and a Lorac violet that will blend beautifully with it. It’s definitely for making an evening statement and I was in love.

So I bought it.

When I got home, I realized that instead of getting “Faintly Berry”, I’d picked up “Rusted Rose”. And it’s the best damn lip color I’ve ever had. I may go back and buy six or seven more tubes of it.

I don’t wear much makeup, but I always wear lipstick. I can be stark naked, but if I’m wearing lipstick, I’m dressed.

Moving right along . . .

Dashed across the street to Barnes & Noble where I found the perfect dark green Celtic-inspired journal for the Satire Project. Because, you see, I need a separate paper journal in which to figure it out. If I try to work it out here on line, it won’t work. I need to be able to say whatever comes in to my head, no matter how offensive and horrible and out there in order to find the voices, themes and ways to make the satire work. If I’m worrying about offending someone who wanders past and “hears” something out of context, I can’t do the book. And this book feels special somehow. It will take a long time to do it, especially in and around other projects, but it’s different and special and Must Be Done.

So it’s got its own Journal. With a capital “J.”

I’ll do updates on the process here, but I need safety and complete freedom in this process, something I would not have online.

Newly glossed, with a brand new journal begging for use and Magic Shoes, I had a cocktail with a colleague (how much do I love the Sidecars at the Algonquin?) and then ran into a neighbor on the train home, and spent the whole trip chatting about Wimbledon and Australia.

Quite a day!

My grandmother is home from the hospital, up in Maine. She’s better, but still tires quickly, and I worry about her. We had a long talk about my grandfather, a lawyer. Many of the books I now have were acquired because, when people couldn’t pay him in cash, they paid him in books. He also loved sports, and my grandmother thinks he would have been proud of my writing on horse racing and ice hockey.

Day 31 of Home Om. Hop over – full moon to full moon.

A new exercise – a Phrase Exercise – up on the Scruffy Dog Blog.

Many thanks for the ideas and opinions regarding forgiveness yesterday. Good points – one can forgive and yet not allow the person to repeat the hurtful behavior. I believe that X and the Third Party Courier want the type of forgiveness that gives license to repetition, and I’m not willing to give that. I AM willing to say, yes, this happened, what a shame, have a long and happy life away from me, much happiness and success to you, please stay over THERE.

Brenda C., my lovely mediation buddy, pointed out the need for self-forgiveness. She hit on something important. Several years ago, I was involved in an extremely emotionally abusive relationship a mere whisker from turning physically abusive, with a guy we’ll call L. Not his real initial, but it’ll do for now. L. is a non-entity in my life, and has been for many years. However, I’ve never forgiven myself for being stupid enough to get snared into his web by his chameleon-like, short-lived charm. Until I forgive MYSELF for believing love would be enough to make it all right, even though there’s no way it could ever be “all right” without me ending up dead (literally, not figuratively), I can’t truly put it behind me. And you know what? I showed bad judgment. It happens. There were some good times. The bad times far outweighed them. And I managed to untangle myself and build a life independent of that. I learned, and I have not repeated the mistake. I’ve learned how to cut losses, how to give up the fairy tales we’re fed on and deal with the real human being. I think that deserves some credit, don’t you?

And now . . .

To write.


PS You must hide the new LL Bean catalogue from me. I want one of everything in every color, except for two things that come only in orange. I gave up orange for Lent one year and never went back. Interesting, since I’m not a Catholic and don’t observe Lent.

Seriously, though, I love the color but it looks awful on me.

LL Bean used to be very boxy, but now they’ve fitted their clothes properly and added nice but simple detailing. Their fall stuff – great. And their customer service is beyond compare – absolutely the best.

Hide that catalogue!


At 8:50 AM, Blogger Brenda said...

Sounds like a great day! And a request for a pic of those shoes!

Forgiving oneself for getting into/falling prey to hurtful situations, as you so rightly point out, doesn't mean glossing over it & possibly repeating the experience in other ways. Can one be co-dependent with oneself? (Joking, sort of!) I think the act of forgiveness isn't a forgetting but a real transformation. When we've forgiven ourselves for things we've done, situations we've gotten caught in, relationships that were abusive, we're able to move on with a new wisdom.

Right now I can think of lots of things I haven't really forgiven myself for around finances, which I'll spend some time doing before I light that candle.

*hugs, have a wonderful day you beautiful, brilliant woman!

At 8:56 AM, Blogger Michelle Miles said...

I'm swooning over your shoes and I haven't even SEEN them! I gotta find a picture somewhere online. And I *love* Nine West shoes. And Sephora. It sounds like you had a wonderful day. :)

At 9:54 AM, Blogger Lara said...

I LOVE Sephora! They just put one into our mall and I'm so excited I don't have to order it!
I love your shoe story! I have size eleven feet so that would NEVER happen to me. :-(

I'm glad your Grandma is doing better. It sounds like you are, too! You found great things yesterday, and Mercury isn't even retrograde! (I now wait until I see it is on your blog and then I go SHOPPING!!)

At 10:27 AM, Blogger Tenille said...

I always love a good shoe story, and some of my favorite pairs of shoes happen to be Nine West. Those red ones you were wearing at first, though, sound awesome. I've always loved wooden heels. To me, they never, ever go out of style.

I'm glad your grandmother is doing better.

Wow, you had a busy day yesterday, but sounds like you got some awesome finds!

At 12:01 PM, Blogger Debra Young said...

What a great day and a fun read! I wanna see the shoes. That would never happen to me either 'cause I've got big duck feet--and I so love cute shoes. I spend the summer staring in envy at other women's cute sandals and airy slides.

"...when people couldn’t pay him in cash, they paid him in books." --Gosh. That's so great.

I'm glad you've chosen the best way to deal with That Person 'cause it seemed to me that their MO was not likely to change had you embraced the friendship again.

Wishing you many happy days..d:)

At 12:32 PM, Blogger Bailey Stewart said...

I'm glad to hear that your grandmother is doing better, that's always a relief.

And what fun with the magic shoes!

Forgiveness is so different for everyone. I'm glad you were able to find some inner peace.

At 12:33 PM, Blogger Bailey Stewart said...

Oh, and I forgot - for me it's the Ikea catalogue. I'm such a decorating hound.

At 1:50 PM, Blogger Melissa Marsh said...

I'd love to see the shoes, Devon. They sound gorgeous. I have been on a quest for perfect shoes for weeks now and I still don't think I've found them.

All in all, it sounds like a very good day. :-)

I am not much of a make-up person. I HATE lipstick. Can't stand the stuff. My mom just shakes her head at my lack of make-up wearing, wondering where she went wrong. ;-)

At 2:18 PM, Blogger Tori Lennox said...

Wow! I've never had Magic Shoes. That is so cool!!!

At 3:01 PM, Blogger M.E Ellis said...

There have been plenty of times in my life when buying a pair of $3 plastic sandals on the street would have been a stretch.

Oh my darling, I so know where you're coming from.

Times like those make the better times so much better, right?

Bless you.


At 3:59 PM, Blogger Sandy J said...

I am more of a 'purse' type of person, but Michelle is working on me with the shoes so now I am infatuated by your 'magic shoes'! Want to see a pic also. And so glad you have been able to forgive yourself a mistake. We have all made them and mine are plenty. But I find if I dwell on them and not just learn from them, it messes me up in all areas of my life for weeks. Glad your grandmother is doing better.


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