Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Waxing Moon
Neptune Retrograde
Sunny and cold

Oh, it’s so nice to only have a single retrograde going on! Enjoy it while you can, we have another one coming up next week or so!

With this Nano, I changed my routine slightly. Before, although I “wrote in the morning”, I made my coffee, had my breakfast, checked my email, blogged, etc., etc., etc. before I sat down to write for the day. That “start” got later and later the past few months, and it was more and more difficult to get down to it.

For Nano, I decided to get up early and write my day’s quota BEFORE I did any of it. I feed the cats, make coffee, and sit down to write. Once my quota is done, I shower, eat and do everything else.

Let me make something clear: I HATE to write while wearing my pajamas. I want to be in “writing clothes”. I hate writing without showering. To me, it feels like part of last night.

But I’m more productive.

So I want to holdover that lesson from Nano, but maybe put the shower in first – shower while the coffee percolates.

But after feeding the cats, because nothing in this house happens if there are hungry cats!

The other thing I noticed is that, upon finishing the daily quota, I get depressed. I’m just warmed up. I want to keep going.

So I hope that moving the shower earlier in the process will negate the letdown. I do the quota on the “Primary Project” and then either keep going on it or switch to one of the other projects.

Nano is a learning process, and I want to take away ideas I can implement in my regular writing routine.

Yesterday, I ran some errands and picked up the cake I’m carting up to Maine. Then I spent most of the morning wrapping presents. Because I’d shopped piecemeal, I hadn’t realized how many gifts I bought until I sat there, with the cats’ help, to wrap them! BIG bag going in the trunk! But it’s fun. I love to give people presents.

I was so happy with the order from National Wildlife Federation that I reconstructed my gift-giving list and put in another big order. Now, except for one gift for a friend, a few things for my mom, and stocking stuffers, I am DONE.

That means the gifts for Europe go out at the beginning of next week. Latest.

Camera 1 returned from Canon. Some tech guy thought it was cute to load in a photo of some sort of yellow and black bird to appear every time I turn it on and make the damn camera chirp every time I push a button – whether it’s to turn it on or to take a picture, or whatever. Not! So I’m off to email Canon to ask them how to turn it OFF.

I’ll take Camera 2 to Maine – the quiet one.

Lori tagged me for 5 things – you mean I have to find 5 MORE things that are interesting? Um, well, um, well . . .I’ll try:

1. Eating raw carrots gives me the hiccups.
2. I prefer silver jewelry to gold.
3. I’m also more of a Moon Girl than a Sun Girl.
4. Speaking of jewelry, my favorite gems are sapphires, emeralds, and my birthstone, aquamarine. Set, of course, in silver.
5. I believe you can never have too many books.

Tag to: Artie (if I haven’t yet), Lauren, and Dorothy.

I lost yesterday’s afternoon writing session due to Situation: The Sequel, which really pisses me off. But at least I’ve made my position clear. They want a fight? They got one.

My heart still hurts about the situation at Backspace. Several colleagues brought up a good point – not letting a problem with one person ruin my relationship with everyone. It’s in the administrator’s hands now, I guess. Gerald, thank you so much for taking the time to stop by and comment. I appreciate it. And I will take your words to heart.

And it’s a good reminder that I need to be more cautious online. I’ve avoided a lot of pitfalls, simply because my interests don’t lead me to many trouble spots. I don’t visit dating sites and I hardly ever enter a chat room. It’s not my thing. And I hit one here, and have to deal with it in whatever way is best for my emotional landscape and health. Someone attacked, acted towards me with deliberate malice, because I don’t fit that person’s definition – well, I don’t fit anyone’s definition, so too bad. Not everyone’s going to love each other, not everyone is going to get along, and some are going to be downright mean. You hope people can agree to disagree and continue in peaceful co-existence and/or tolerance – oh, wait, I forgot who’s in charge of the country, right, that’s no longer an option.

Live, learn, and hopefully apply it to the next situation.

I have acquired enormous personal damage on many levels due to the events of the last year and few months. I need to develop a thicker skin. I also have to deal with the fact that I often feel that I am supposed to accommodate everyone else’s damage, and yet, when I say, “this is mine, please respect it” or “this is my experience in such a situation”, it’s not respected because it doesn’t fit the aggressor’s definition and because I’ve been willing to accommodate others. But if I’m supposed to respect what’s outside of my definitions without judgment, so should they. It has to work both ways.

Twice now, I’ve been blindsided by aggressors when I was particularly vulnerable. So, obviously, both times I sent out some sort of signal that I was prey. And THAT needs to stop.

The choices are not to put myself out there at all, with anyone (which, as a writer, is really not an option), or do it, get burned, and try not to make the same mistakes over and over (so I keep finding different ones).

I’m trying to figure out a way to find a “bright side”, giving myself psychobabble pep talks. They’re not working. I just need time away.

A few days in Maine with no internet access will help me gain perspective.

And then I’ll decide what’s best for me in order to protect and support the work. If the writing is supported properly, everything else falls into place.

Better do it quick – Saturn goes retrograde next week and that’s about life lessons – if you make the same mistakes, you get your butt kicked!

My choices are to wallow in depression, doubt and upset, throwing me off my game. Or keep writing. Guess which option I’m pursuing?

I’m off to the theatre – the thought of getting on that damn Metro North train is, literally, making me nauseous.

I’ll be off line for a few days, because it’s the big family gathering in Maine, and there’s no internet access for me up there. I wish everyone a happy and joyful Thanksgiving!


Assumption of Right – 55,981 words out of 50,000 (Nano goal)
Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
55 / 50

Assumption of Right – 55,981 words out of 85,000 (completion goal)
Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
55 / 85


At 8:40 AM, Blogger Diane said...

Have a great time in Maine and a Happy Thanksgiving.

At 11:03 AM, Blogger Anita Powell said...

I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving and a great time in Maine!

I know what you mean about having to develop a thicker skin. I've been going through that myself a lot lately, especially professionally. I think it's important to develop that thicker skin but still remain who you are. It's something I'm trying to do right now. As for dealing with other people's damage, I totally understand that too. Online and off, I tend to attract people with their own sets of problems, and I'm very understanding about them, but often when it's time for me to unload a little, they turn their heads and refuse to listen. Normally it doesn't bother me, but sometimes it is wearing. So I know what you're going through.

Things will get better, I just know they will.

At 12:09 PM, Blogger Tori Lennox said...

I've never been to Maine (actually I've never been any further--farther?--east than D.C.) but it sounds like a great way to spend the holiday weekend. So I hope you have a great time!

At 12:47 PM, Blogger Sue said...

I am so sorry you've had to go through this situation with Backspace. I can only say that whomever/whatever was said, they are clearly out of line. In these past two years, I have learned what a strong and amazing spirit you are. I admire you greatly, and even with some of your pitfalls, your dedication never waivers. If someone decides to attack you, it is their insecurity. Their issues. Not yours.

Easily said, I know. Not easily felt. Given my own foibles over the past while, I know how painful it can be.

Have a great Thanksgiving and take care! I'll be thinking of you.

At 1:06 PM, Blogger Debra Young said...

Wishing you a joyous Thanksgiving, Devon. Come back refreshed! d:))

At 1:25 PM, Blogger Michelle Miles said...

Have a terrific Thanksgiving!

I don't frequent online forums anymore. Too many folks with too many opinions about too many things. I prefer to read blogs and surf than anything else and stay outta the chat rooms and off the message boards. It's just easier that way.

At 1:33 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

Am I missing something? What's the Sequel? Fill us in when you can, dear.

Have a nice time in Maine. :)

At 7:38 PM, Blogger Lara said...

Sorry about the whole BS thing. Hope it all blows over!
Have a Happy Thanksgiving!


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